Something for the Weekend

May 06, 2005

The 'M' word... by Celeste

The whole marriage thing has always perplexed me.

I've never quite understood why people say that marriage is a huge step and you have to work hard at it once you tie the knot.

My personal opinion is that when you find someone who makes you shine inside, provoking you to beam wildly on the outside and have sparkles in your eyes and you realise that you could quite easily spend forever with them then marriage shouldn't affect in anyway how you feel or act with them.

There is just so much emphasis on marriage and all it is really is a bit of paper that confirms that you loved someone (in most cases) enough to change your name (in most cases) and to become an official couple in the eyes of God/Buddha/various Ancient Grecian Gods/Vishnu/Elvis if you're religious and in the eyes of the Government.

Marriages are pretty much the same as relationships. The only real differences are that you tend to get introduced to new people as 'My wife' or 'My husband', splitting up costs a lot of money and causes all sorts of dilemmas (in most cases) and after splitting up you're known as a divorcee!

You shouldn't have to work any harder in a marriage than you did before you donned the posh togs and said 'I do' and you shouldn't have to act any different. From my observations many people who have tied the knot seem to change. They tend to become more introverted and think they can't do silly things anymore as they're married.

A girl that I used to know thought the idea of marriage was ridiculous and if she was to ever marry it would be when she was much, much older as getting married takes away your identity. Bollocks to that I say! Marriage can only take away who you are if you have a weak character to start with and/or if you marry a shithead who ebbs away at your self-confidence gradually turning you into a self depreciative mess.

I want to get married in the future mainly because I want to feel like a princess for the day and have a big party etc etc but I would only marry someone to fulfil my fantasy of having the whole fairytale thing, not because I thought I ought to, or it's the right thing to do so I would only marry someone who makes me feel wonderful everyday, someone that I click with in every aspect of a relationship, someone that I could really honestly spend 'forever' with because to me getting married is just a fabulous excuse to buy a beautiful dress, flowers, have a big bash and be all romantic and gushy, basically celebrating the fact that you've found someone you love with all your heart and will do for a very long time to come.

I know most of you won't agree with my views and that's fine, if we all agreed on everything life would be pretty dull. I'm just trying to put across my opinion that marriage shouldn't be this huge, scary process. You don’t have to change once you become Mr&Mrs. Of course over the years you do change and that's why some marriages dissolve but don't change because you feel you should. I for one will go into marriage being exactly who I was when I was just my groom's girlfriend. I'd hope that he wouldn't suddenly become this freak after we got married, as I would've lived with him before getting hitched and been with him for at least a few years!

Yes of course marriages are difficult and require work but so do long-term relationships. The difference? One comes with a piece of paper with signatures on it.

Comments

You have great ideas and intentions. That's cool. You seem open and honest to your situation which is always the major step. I hope that you continue to find happiness, whereever it leads. Great blog.

Thanks for stopping by earlier.

To be honest, I don't think your view is so different to other people's - certainly not people I know.

People are getting married a lot later these days, and usually after living together for a long period of time anyway, so getting married is no real change other than an excuse to have a big bash and be the centre of attention for the day.

In the past, marriage would have been a major change because you'd generally go from living with your parents to living with your partner - that really is a major upheaval. this just isn't the case anymore.

I don't think that's a really bad way of looking at marriage - I would like to think that it's more than a nice dress and a party though!

What happened to the rest of your posts? Loads of them have seem to have disappeared.

The posts disapear to archives 10 days after they have been published.

Oh yeah, Archive section, knew I forgot something!

Celeste, that's great get married enjoy the day/party/rest of your life. Just... Dont... Eat... The... Cake!

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