Something for the Weekend

April 25, 2005

My greatest invention... by him... by Tris

I've got it.

I've finally had my multi-million dollar idea, that's US dollars, not Canadian monopoly dollars. And you know what, because I'm a generous fellow, I'm going to share it with you.

If you want to find out more, click below, otherwise continue on down the page to Cel's last entry…

Tomato powered electricity.

Bear with me on this, it takes a bigger leap of faith than buying a hotdog after 2AM from one of those mobile "I can't believe it's not pigeon" vendors in Leicester square.

We all know, and this has been documented before, that tomatoes retain heat a little bit too well for our eating needs. Today for instance, my tomato, cheese and red onion toasted sandwich decided to bite back by pouring super-heated tomato juice all over my tongue and bottom lip.

Now I didn't have a thermometer instantly to hand, but I've drank boiling hot cups of tea and that tomato juice was waaaaaaaaaay hotter than that, way hotter and the best part is, the tomato was only in the sandwich press for 3 minutes yet the fucker still scalded me half to death 10 minutes later.

So, today's lunchtime experiment showed that with a minimal amount of heat applied, bearing in mind that the tomatoes where sandwiched from the heat between bread and cheese thus reducing the total heat actually applied to the tomato, a tomato managed to heat up it's water up to approximately 1000 degrees Celsius and then managed to retain the heat for a substantial period of time.

So the answer to the world's energy crisis is simple: Heat up tomatoes (preferably cherry tomatoes cos those are the baddest of bad boys for burning tongues) in the desert during the day. The tomatoes will then retain their super heated juices for anything up to 1 hour at 1000 degrees. Then transport them to the power station and dump them in water. Steam will be produced as the super heated juices hit the water (much like my tongue earlier today) and that can go on to power the turbines and create electricity. You can also reuse the tomato as I have discovered that microwave tomato left-overs retain just as much heat.

Einstein was a fag. I've just solved the world's energy crisis whilst eating lunch. Pfft, it took him years to come up with that bollocks.

Comments

I'm suddenly reminded of that old cartoon series 'attack of the killer tomatoes' damn you!

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